Decisions, decisions, decisions

Decisions, decisions, decisions

Ever think about the consequences of your actions?


Like actually buckle down and think about the results of the countless decisions you make on a daily basis?


Sometimes I do and I won't lie, it's scary.


You sit there just wondering why it is you do the things you do,


Is it because you didn't use your "Prejudice Shield" (yeah I decided it's a thing now)


or is it because you did?


This is all part of that "adult-ing" thing i was talking about,


"your decisions will matter in the bigger picture",


i can't tell you how many times I've heard that,


we're basically being told, (in a nutshell),


we're living for the future,


regarding what we wear,


what schools we attend,


what cars we drive,


what people we date :


Decisions, decisions, decisions.


While we're young they're mostly short term decisions,


almost like when my mom made me do little chores around the house when i was young,


so that by the time i was 14, i was able to clean the entire house, one man.


 (moms everywhere, we are onto you!)


So by using that theory,


it means that all these little decisions accumulate along the way,


much like depreciation (i'm sorry, i'm doing managerial finance right now, my mind's all polluted with accounting terminology),


to purposefully groom us to be able to handle the big decisions, one man.


Still with me?


I get really nervous before I make a big decision,


my mouth dries up and my mind gets foggy,


that's the clear sign that the pressure's on, boiling point.


Most importantly,


i find myself excruciatingly aware of the fact that this big decision will matter from the minute i make it.


So, basically the stakes are higher (there's no way around that),


therefore my mouth gets dryer,


and my throat closes up,


which prevents oxygen from travelling to my brain,


(p.s i never did biology, all anatomy theories are literally made up in my head),


which disallows me to think properly,


because of all the trapped stale carbon dioxide,


which is responsible for creating the fog.


Logically  (And biologically), that makes complete sense to me.


When a lot is on the line,


the simplest choices could drive you into a mental CUL DE SAC.


That's the worst,


when your brain,


the one of the only things that you can really control in life,


refuses to cooperate.


Now what?!


Well luckily I have a system in place,


I ask myself :


  If this was the last day of your life, would you still do this?


It may seem like a ridiculously outlandish question,


But when you really want to narrow it down to a simple yes or no,


 it's better to go with your gut feeling,


 and nothing fuels your gut like the will to live.


This is just some food for thought,


I'd like to say it was 100% effective but,


this is not glomail and,


it is not 11 AM on a Wednesday morning,


in other words :


I'm not here to sell you dreams.


“When we are children we seldom think of the


future.  This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as  few adults can. The day we fret about the future is  the day we leave our childhood behind.”

Patrick Rothfuss , The Name of the Wind