And i know better

And i know better

They tell me to speak my mind

And I spit fire.

It's all I know, it's all too natural.

I forget to write,

I should stop that,

I really enjoy it.

And like I said, if you're not enjoying what you're doing, why are you doing it?


I feel like a lot of people are self sacrificial, always making unnecessary burdens on their lives in the form of anger, pettiness and bitterness, when really you should just move on with your life and strive  for happiness.


Doesn't that make more sense?

Than wallowing in your depressive filth?,


I mean I know it's harder said than done,

Believe me I know,

I've been there.


I still think about him every second of everyday,


I still walk passed someone who smells like him and my heart literally stops,


I still get warm and fuzzy inside when I think of the prospects of our future together


I still have hope.


And I know better,

I know better than to hope for the improbable,


But that doesn't stop the yearning.


It's strange, trying to live your happiest life with an essential part of your happiness missing,

It's not just love or companionship I'm missing,

It's his essence, his general presence.


He evoked something in me that remains dormant when he's not with me.


It's an energy, a fullness.


He sparks a light in me that I can't access without him,

A deep burning fire that ceases to thrive in his absence.

I wonder when this feeling will go away.



It's not even an emptiness filled with sadness,

it's not even an emptiness of profound existence - it's just empty,

an empty emptiness.


Ha. Irony, there you are again old friend.